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anigoI haven't posted in a while. I was thinking about that on my way to work this morning, and I thought it's probably because I haven't had much exciting to post about, but I think it's more along the lines that I haven't been thinking much, just happily motoring along on autopilot.
However, this morning Richard informs me there was a rock chip in the windshield of the car which has subsequently turned into a decent crack. (History bite: Two years ago I smashed our brand new car. There were some really negative things associated with that memory - Richard being ticked while I was in the hospital, for example. I still secretly have my doubts that Richard's fogiven me about that and it's been a sore spot with us ever since.) So all morning I was battling that grey-brown creature that had moved to perifery of my vision for the past couple of months.
But the good news is I think I won. Richard wasn't really gentle about it, but he didn't blame me - well he asked me if I got hit by a rock, which I did, but I tried not to read too much accusation into it. I started on the self depreciating talk "I'm hard on gear", "I'm just stupid" etc. but I stopped myself and tried to talk myself out of it. Now, I've discovered that the best way of battling the grey-brown creature is to not battle her at all, but to ignore her and she goes away, so talking yourself out of the self depreciating talk doesn't really work. Reminding yourself, however, that using the grey-brown creature as a crutch to look for self pity or pity from others is not a productive thing, is a very successful tool in battling (or ignoring) the grey-brown creature.
So currently the grey-brown creature is off nursing her battle wounds somewhere I can't see her. And that's ok with me.
However, this morning Richard informs me there was a rock chip in the windshield of the car which has subsequently turned into a decent crack. (History bite: Two years ago I smashed our brand new car. There were some really negative things associated with that memory - Richard being ticked while I was in the hospital, for example. I still secretly have my doubts that Richard's fogiven me about that and it's been a sore spot with us ever since.) So all morning I was battling that grey-brown creature that had moved to perifery of my vision for the past couple of months.
But the good news is I think I won. Richard wasn't really gentle about it, but he didn't blame me - well he asked me if I got hit by a rock, which I did, but I tried not to read too much accusation into it. I started on the self depreciating talk "I'm hard on gear", "I'm just stupid" etc. but I stopped myself and tried to talk myself out of it. Now, I've discovered that the best way of battling the grey-brown creature is to not battle her at all, but to ignore her and she goes away, so talking yourself out of the self depreciating talk doesn't really work. Reminding yourself, however, that using the grey-brown creature as a crutch to look for self pity or pity from others is not a productive thing, is a very successful tool in battling (or ignoring) the grey-brown creature.
So currently the grey-brown creature is off nursing her battle wounds somewhere I can't see her. And that's ok with me.
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All quiet on the Western Front
Date: 2003-07-24 07:29 am (UTC)No grey-brown monsters to be seen anywhere.
Such it is with my soul.
One day it's an ambush, the next it's pastoral.
You're right. Chips happen. :)
Re: All quiet on the Western Front
Date: 2003-07-24 07:50 am (UTC)