It's all about me
Jun. 20th, 2005 11:29 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
anigoYanno, in the end, it's really all about me.
And I mean that seriously. I think that's one of life's lessons. You need to learn that in the end it's really all about you.
I think, despite the wonderous raises, that work screwed me a bit as far as the tenure goes. I didn't get a raise to the midpoint of my salary range because they said that I've only been an Account Manager for 2 months and not for 3 years when I started as an AM. If they would have counted the part time AM work, I would be in the midpoint of the salary range, but they've decided that it only counts since I've been full time - two months ago. That kinda sucks. Not the money part, but the fact that the past 3 years of work don't count for squat. But, it's not really about the company's stupid way of handling things, it's all about me. It's all about what I choose to do with this bit of occurance. Do I flop around like a walrus in a tantrum? (Did that!) Do I rise above it and continue to work hard? (Not very likely! **smile**)
If person x doesn't treat me the way I think I should be treated (and person x is generic, nobody particular in this instance - though in actuality it's a true variable in that it's really everybody, in'it. Or anything for that matter.)... then what. Then is it that person's fault? Well, yes, I guess it could be. But my power over that person's actions is completely zip. I can't make that person act any differently. "HEY YOU. ACT DIFFERENTLY" Yes, quite effective, huh. Nope. Not so much. The only power I have is to act differently myself. And not with the intention of "if I act differently then I'm submitting person x to a different set of variables and maybe he/she will act differently". Nope. I need to act differently to control my own reactions. Not with any other intentions than to understand my own actions and reactions better, and thereby learn from them. S'all very Zen, isn't it.
It's not about the way the world reacts around me, it's about how I react to the world. Pouting because the world sucks only results in a pout. It doesn't result in the world sucking any less.
I have NO idea where that all came from. And if you can make any sense of it, then yay you!
**edit**
For what it's worth, just from bits and pieces of other posts going on I'm surmising there might be some other undercurrent that this could be misconstrued as being flotsam or jetsam of. It is not. It is, in fact, related to me and how I really need to learn how to stop reacting to other people and just act. However, if it's appropriate to your situation and helps you in any way, it's yours. Take it.
And I mean that seriously. I think that's one of life's lessons. You need to learn that in the end it's really all about you.
I think, despite the wonderous raises, that work screwed me a bit as far as the tenure goes. I didn't get a raise to the midpoint of my salary range because they said that I've only been an Account Manager for 2 months and not for 3 years when I started as an AM. If they would have counted the part time AM work, I would be in the midpoint of the salary range, but they've decided that it only counts since I've been full time - two months ago. That kinda sucks. Not the money part, but the fact that the past 3 years of work don't count for squat. But, it's not really about the company's stupid way of handling things, it's all about me. It's all about what I choose to do with this bit of occurance. Do I flop around like a walrus in a tantrum? (Did that!) Do I rise above it and continue to work hard? (Not very likely! **smile**)
If person x doesn't treat me the way I think I should be treated (and person x is generic, nobody particular in this instance - though in actuality it's a true variable in that it's really everybody, in'it. Or anything for that matter.)... then what. Then is it that person's fault? Well, yes, I guess it could be. But my power over that person's actions is completely zip. I can't make that person act any differently. "HEY YOU. ACT DIFFERENTLY" Yes, quite effective, huh. Nope. Not so much. The only power I have is to act differently myself. And not with the intention of "if I act differently then I'm submitting person x to a different set of variables and maybe he/she will act differently". Nope. I need to act differently to control my own reactions. Not with any other intentions than to understand my own actions and reactions better, and thereby learn from them. S'all very Zen, isn't it.
It's not about the way the world reacts around me, it's about how I react to the world. Pouting because the world sucks only results in a pout. It doesn't result in the world sucking any less.
I have NO idea where that all came from. And if you can make any sense of it, then yay you!
**edit**
For what it's worth, just from bits and pieces of other posts going on I'm surmising there might be some other undercurrent that this could be misconstrued as being flotsam or jetsam of. It is not. It is, in fact, related to me and how I really need to learn how to stop reacting to other people and just act. However, if it's appropriate to your situation and helps you in any way, it's yours. Take it.
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no subject
Date: 2005-06-20 06:54 pm (UTC)The other method of therapy is called "Solution Based Therapy" where, once the problem is identified, the therapist helps the patients work ing solving the issues rather than dwelling on them and discussing them into the ground.
Yeah, great, my Mom was an alcoholic.
One road is to dwell on every instance of abuse moment by moment.
The other is to recognize the results of the abuse, the defence mechanisms I developed, and then work on deciding which are no longer appropriate and find ways to change them.
I vote for B, take action, every time.