anigo | Today's update (Reply)

I took Gunner for a walk last night and told her all the things I wanted to tell her. That I'd miss her chain jingle, I'd miss her playing in the snow, I'd miss her knowing the exact place where we turn around when we're walking, I'd miss how she likes riding in the car... things like that. I also asked her not to be cross if I get a new dog right away because it'ts not because she's so easily replacable but because I'm going to miss her so very much. I told her that I hoped what Jess thinks is true because I really like the thought of my little black dog flying around with white wings. About three quarters of the way through the walk she stopped, looked up at me and turned around. She's never done that before. It was almost like she said she'd had enough.

All night she slept on either my bed at my feet or on Jess's bed and this morning she looked sad and wouldn't eat, so I guess the end is near.

I realized that if we'd followed the vet's advice she would have been gone yesterday morning so every day is a huge blessing. But, damn, I want it to be years, not days.

So my sister has just found out all the details about what needs to be done and how much it costs (I coudn't call them) and now we're both bawling like babies.

I've decided to spend the extra money and get her cremated and take her ashes to gramma and grampas.

That's all for now, as I can hardly type for crying.