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Aug. 6th, 2005 10:28 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
anigoThree posts in one day? What *am* I doing?
Just came back from a run/walk. I normally go in the evening. I was going to go this evening, but Dick decided to stay out for the evening with friends (Which is totally cool, he never does that. Yay for him getting a life!) I could have gone earlier when The Kid was at her friend's house, but I prefer the evening and I assumed Dick was going to be home. But he wasn't, and the Kid didn't want to go (I don't blame her) and I'm trying to be very aware of shuffling her off to some babysitter or another at the drop of a hat and while she's getting better at staying alone, she's not there yet... so I said I would run around the house a bunch of times. Ok, I live in a bungalow in suburbia. I was supposed to walk/run for 46 minutes. That just was not exciting.
Then I had an idea!
A couple of miles down the road is a football field surrounding by an oval track. I packed her up with a blankie, a camp chair and a book (Yes, she's 8, but she's not feeling well and I'm pampering her - humour me I'm an overprotective spoiling type mother), took Lucy - who drives me NUTS if she thinks she's going to go for a walk and it doesn't materialize, and headed for the oval. I stuck her where she could see me over to one side with the chair, blankie and book and did laps! Now, if that's not somebody with drive to finish this goddamned program, I don't know what is.
Having said that, I only did 8 reps instead of 9, cut it 4 minutes short and skimped on the 5 minute cool down, but it was getting dark and it's right next to a skateboard park where there were a lot of kids I wouldn't want to meet in the dark, and nobody knew where I was if I *did* meet somebody in the dark. I'm not chicken, but I'm not stupid either.
My legs are KILLING me. My ass is telling me that, in future, I should remember that its primary job is for SITTING, not for running. The track had some sort of spongey stuff on it that, I assume, was supposed to make it better for running. I found it sort of like trying to run on sand. My legs pushed in and went squoooooodge instead of getting a nice firm surface that pushed back. I thought it would be much easier, being flat and all, but it was considerably harder. Having said that, I suspect if I ran their for any length of time I'd have a fantastic looking backside!
There was a guy there when I got there running laps. He did about 2 to my 1. Jerk. I wonder if I'll ever be able to do it without stopping let alone doing it at a fairly reasonable pace.
Oh well. Faith in the program and determination not to quit. If that doesn't count for something I don't know what would.
Speaking of determination I discovered something today.
I'm really frickin strong/brave.
It just kinda hit me out of the blue. There was a story on the radio about a guy who'd lost his sight and had had a couple of surgery's to replace his corneas. He'd get it done, he'd see for a while, it'd get infected or something and he wouldn't see anymore, and then he'd get another one. The program, though I only caught bits and pieces of it, talked about him being brave and such. Then it asked something along the lines how *you* react when faced with a challenge.
Yanno, I can't think of a time when I HAVEN'T done something because I was afraid to do it. I don't think I've ever cut myself slack because I was afraid. God knows I've been afraid A LOT. But you know what else? It kinda dawned on me that I don't think I'm afraid anymore. It's like somewhere along the line of pushing myself to do stuff despite the fact that I was afraid - maybe even doing it BECAUSE I was afraid (going to university, sailing, making left hand turns), I stopped being afraid. Oddly enough, however, the realization never actually surfaced until now. My body has still been in "I'm afraid to do it" mode, but I'm not afraid. I think it's safe to turn the "afraid" mode off now.
Don't ask me what I am/was afraid of, because I'm not rightly sure. But I think it's gone.
And don't ask me how a running post became all philosophical, because I don't rightly know. But it's the last one for the day, I promise.
Just came back from a run/walk. I normally go in the evening. I was going to go this evening, but Dick decided to stay out for the evening with friends (Which is totally cool, he never does that. Yay for him getting a life!) I could have gone earlier when The Kid was at her friend's house, but I prefer the evening and I assumed Dick was going to be home. But he wasn't, and the Kid didn't want to go (I don't blame her) and I'm trying to be very aware of shuffling her off to some babysitter or another at the drop of a hat and while she's getting better at staying alone, she's not there yet... so I said I would run around the house a bunch of times. Ok, I live in a bungalow in suburbia. I was supposed to walk/run for 46 minutes. That just was not exciting.
Then I had an idea!
A couple of miles down the road is a football field surrounding by an oval track. I packed her up with a blankie, a camp chair and a book (Yes, she's 8, but she's not feeling well and I'm pampering her - humour me I'm an overprotective spoiling type mother), took Lucy - who drives me NUTS if she thinks she's going to go for a walk and it doesn't materialize, and headed for the oval. I stuck her where she could see me over to one side with the chair, blankie and book and did laps! Now, if that's not somebody with drive to finish this goddamned program, I don't know what is.
Having said that, I only did 8 reps instead of 9, cut it 4 minutes short and skimped on the 5 minute cool down, but it was getting dark and it's right next to a skateboard park where there were a lot of kids I wouldn't want to meet in the dark, and nobody knew where I was if I *did* meet somebody in the dark. I'm not chicken, but I'm not stupid either.
My legs are KILLING me. My ass is telling me that, in future, I should remember that its primary job is for SITTING, not for running. The track had some sort of spongey stuff on it that, I assume, was supposed to make it better for running. I found it sort of like trying to run on sand. My legs pushed in and went squoooooodge instead of getting a nice firm surface that pushed back. I thought it would be much easier, being flat and all, but it was considerably harder. Having said that, I suspect if I ran their for any length of time I'd have a fantastic looking backside!
There was a guy there when I got there running laps. He did about 2 to my 1. Jerk. I wonder if I'll ever be able to do it without stopping let alone doing it at a fairly reasonable pace.
Oh well. Faith in the program and determination not to quit. If that doesn't count for something I don't know what would.
Speaking of determination I discovered something today.
I'm really frickin strong/brave.
It just kinda hit me out of the blue. There was a story on the radio about a guy who'd lost his sight and had had a couple of surgery's to replace his corneas. He'd get it done, he'd see for a while, it'd get infected or something and he wouldn't see anymore, and then he'd get another one. The program, though I only caught bits and pieces of it, talked about him being brave and such. Then it asked something along the lines how *you* react when faced with a challenge.
Yanno, I can't think of a time when I HAVEN'T done something because I was afraid to do it. I don't think I've ever cut myself slack because I was afraid. God knows I've been afraid A LOT. But you know what else? It kinda dawned on me that I don't think I'm afraid anymore. It's like somewhere along the line of pushing myself to do stuff despite the fact that I was afraid - maybe even doing it BECAUSE I was afraid (going to university, sailing, making left hand turns), I stopped being afraid. Oddly enough, however, the realization never actually surfaced until now. My body has still been in "I'm afraid to do it" mode, but I'm not afraid. I think it's safe to turn the "afraid" mode off now.
Don't ask me what I am/was afraid of, because I'm not rightly sure. But I think it's gone.
And don't ask me how a running post became all philosophical, because I don't rightly know. But it's the last one for the day, I promise.
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no subject
Date: 2005-08-07 02:05 am (UTC)I betcha I could beat that guy, and I KNOW Dad could. He's too fast for me.
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Date: 2005-08-07 02:11 am (UTC)If you're too fast for me, and Dad's too fast for you..
If all snerfs are glerfs, and all glerfs are merfs...
Then the merfs must be faster than dad, no?
no subject
Date: 2005-08-07 02:16 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-07 02:44 am (UTC)More than you'll ever know.
no subject
Date: 2005-08-07 11:59 am (UTC)yay for you.
no subject
Date: 2005-08-08 02:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-08 02:31 pm (UTC)***blush*** Well thanks. I haven't tended to believe that about myself. Usually I'm scared to death to do just about anything, but I tend to force myself to do things whether I'm scared or not. Maybe therein lies the power of being brave, but when it's you, you tend to only see the fact that you're scared and not the fact that you're doing it despite the terror.